Been riding?

Yesterday I was again in WalMart, this time buying metallic paints, when I saw someone I know from the horse world. We hadn't talked for a while and I asked how his horses were. He said his wife, the primary horse person, hadn't been riding much since she lost her job. This perplexed him. He said she doesn't have anyone to ride with and he isn't a horse person.

It got me thinking of perceptions. Often when two horse people meet, they ask, "Been riding much?" It can be a measure of their horse life, how much they ride. I think this is a measure that needs to be refocused.
Riding a horse is only part of the world of being a horse person. As anyone who has their horses at home knows, taking care of the horses often takes more time than riding. Feeding, grooming, mucking out stalls and pastures, making hay, fixing fences, all take up time. Even when you have your horse boarded, there is still cleaning tack, nutrition evaluation, and drive time to consider.
But, apart from the time spent caring for and riding horses, one of the most important measures of the horse life can be evaluated by a different question, "Have you spent much time with your horses lately?"
In Equine Relationship Training, time spent with your horse is one of the most important measures of your relationship. Whether it be time spent cleaning, grooming, feeding, or pasture management, if you are in the presence of your horse, your are spending time.
Carolyn Resnick tells the story of a horseman she knew who had a difficult horse to train. The horseman spent time in the corral with the horse, fixing the fences. This went on for a period of time until the horse realized that this human wasn't there in disrespect. The time spent being in the presence of the horse, without asking anything of him, was the key to building the relationship which led to successful training.
The more time we spent doing nothing with our horses, the more better our relationship will be.
Many people think that spending time doing something other than training or riding is time wasted. Think of it this way, taking your horse to a trainer, or taking lessons, or trailering to a show, or trail riding with a group of friends takes time, and it's expensive. Spending time doing nothing with your horse doesn't cost you a thing. In this era of economic woes and uncertainty, doesn't something that improves your relationship with your horse, and is free, sound great?
Okay, if you don't believe that something that doesn't cost anything can be of benefit, go ahead and send me a check for whatever you want, and I will tell you to go out and spend time with your horse. Then you can think of it as a lesson that you have paid for.
The next time you see a fellow horse person, ask, "Been spending time with your horses lately?"